Before you read this post, I want you to know two things: I am coming back to the States, but I am not a failure.
I feel the need to preface this post that way because, well, I know a lot of people are going to feel that I am. A lot of people are going to tell me I quit just as I was getting started.
But they would be wrong. I am just getting started, and coming back to the States is what needs to happen for me right now.
Let me explain: I’ve accepted a really amazing job offer for a really amazing company in Florida. It’s a job I’ve wanted for a long time with a company’s whose mission I really believe in. It’s also in digital marketing and social media, something I’ve grown to love over the past few years.
But in the end, deciding to leave New Zealand and Wellington, in particular, turned out to be really hard.
You see, a lot of really amazing things have happened here in the past few months. I’ve met a lot of “my” people, found a new spiritual community, and even got to act on a set for the first time in years. I made lots of plans for the next month and even, amazingly, was contemplating actually staying in Wellington. After all, I have always been a creative and a performer at heart, so what better place to try that out than in the place some of my favorite movies have been made?
I almost was ready to stay. Almost. And then I got an offer too good to refuse.
In addition to being offered what I would call in many ways a “dream job,” I also know that coming back to the states is right for me both personally and financially. I have a lot of debt and being in New Zealand has only added to that. Its been a real struggle and was the impetus for much of my anxiety this past year.
Anyone who tells you that you can achieve longterm travel with substantial debt is a liar.
Or at least don’t personally understand how much of a burden that debt can be, especially without anyone in your life who can bail you out if necessary.
While I can only speak from my personal experience, I can say this pretty definitively, at least when it comes to New Zealand. (I hear Southeast Asia is much more affordable.) Then again, maybe I was just unlucky: I recently found out I was pretty drastically underpaid at my job, to the tune of at least $6,000 NZD annually. Still, the fact of the matter is, New Zealand is expensive when it comes to necessities. That, combined with my U.S. bills, means that if I do anything other than work and the gym each week, I am often in the negative days before I get paid again. (And, my meals during the week are rice, beans, and occasionally canned tuna. I am morally against canned tuna, but sometimes you can’t do anything about what you can afford.)
In addition to perhaps being unlucky, I also wonder if I have more debt than most. My debt totals to about $25,000, which I know is less than most Americans are currently leaving university with. And while some people are happy with a bad credit score and not paying bills in exchange for traveling, I’m just not that kind of person. I take pride in being responsible and meeting my obligations, if not exceeding them.
I was advised not to get a second job because of tax laws but I realized too late this advice was probably wrong, considering the source. Either way, had I done that, I definitely couldn’t have traveled or pursued any creative endeavors so it was probably for the best.
Some other reasons I was financially strapped: I like eating healthy, make-up, and going to the gym. (The last one, surprisingly, is the least expensive of the three here in New Zealand. Even drugstore foundation is at least $30.)
Something had to give.
Also, guys. Have you read my blog? I wrote multiple times this year about how I wanted to live somewhere warm, and have a creative career and I am literally getting both of them. I am excited, and I hope you’re excited for me too.
So that leads us to the question: what’s next for Amiekay’s Adventure?
The answer: it’s not over yet, baby! My new location will allow me to see amazing parts of Florida and the Caribbean I missed the last time around. I am still a traveler and explorer, it will just be in a different climate. And who knows where I will be in a few years? Maybe I’ll settle down and get a dog, or maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll be in Malaysia or Thailand in two years. Maybe I’ll visit Japan for the Olympics. Maybe I’ll move back to New Zealand. Maybe I will fall madly in love with someone and be able to share these adventures with someone else. Maybe I’ll write a television pilot with my friend in Chicago about being perpetually single. I have no idea, and that’s exciting. For the first time in a long time, the possibilities for my future seem both enchanting and endless.
My only personal worry about the move is whether or not I’ll be able to continue doing acting work on film sets. (Okay, I only got to do it twice this year.) But hey, I do know a good community theatre at least.
So, please, I beg of you, don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t think of me as a failure. I certainly don’t. I got to spend almost a year in New Zealand, and I also get my dream job in a place I love and have considered home since I started drawing palm trees on chalkboards in high school.
