Before you read this post, I want you to know two things: I am coming back to the States, but I am not a failure.
I feel the need to preface this post that way because, well, I know a lot of people are going to feel that I am. A lot of people are going to tell me I quit just as I was getting started.
But they would be wrong. I am just getting started, and coming back to the States is what needs to happen for me right now.
Let me explain: I’ve accepted a really amazing job offer for a really amazing company in Florida. It’s a job I’ve wanted for a long time with a company’s whose mission I really believe in. It’s also in digital marketing and social media, something I’ve grown to love over the past few years.
But in the end, deciding to leave New Zealand and Wellington, in particular, turned out to be really hard.
You see, a lot of really amazing things have happened here in the past few months. I’ve met a lot of “my” people, found a new spiritual community, and even got to act on a set for the first time in years. I made lots of plans for the next month and even, amazingly, was contemplating actually staying in Wellington. After all, I have always been a creative and a performer at heart, so what better place to try that out than in the place some of my favorite movies have been made?
I almost was ready to stay. Almost. And then I got an offer too good to refuse.
In addition to being offered what I would call in many ways a “dream job,” I also know that coming back to the states is right for me both personally and financially. I have a lot of debt and being in New Zealand has only added to that. Its been a real struggle and was the impetus for much of my anxiety this past year.
Anyone who tells you that you can achieve longterm travel with substantial debt is a liar.
Or at least don’t personally understand how much of a burden that debt can be, especially without anyone in your life who can bail you out if necessary.
While I can only speak from my personal experience, I can say this pretty definitively, at least when it comes to New Zealand. (I hear Southeast Asia is much more affordable.) Then again, maybe I was just unlucky: I recently found out I was pretty drastically underpaid at my job, to the tune of at least $6,000 NZD annually. Still, the fact of the matter is, New Zealand is expensive when it comes to necessities. That, combined with my U.S. bills, means that if I do anything other than work and the gym each week, I am often in the negative days before I get paid again. (And, my meals during the week are rice, beans, and occasionally canned tuna. I am morally against canned tuna, but sometimes you can’t do anything about what you can afford.)
In addition to perhaps being unlucky, I also wonder if I have more debt than most. My debt totals to about $25,000, which I know is less than most Americans are currently leaving university with. And while some people are happy with a bad credit score and not paying bills in exchange for traveling, I’m just not that kind of person. I take pride in being responsible and meeting my obligations, if not exceeding them.
I was advised not to get a second job because of tax laws but I realized too late this advice was probably wrong, considering the source. Either way, had I done that, I definitely couldn’t have traveled or pursued any creative endeavors so it was probably for the best.
Some other reasons I was financially strapped: I like eating healthy, make-up, and going to the gym. (The last one, surprisingly, is the least expensive of the three here in New Zealand. Even drugstore foundation is at least $30.)
Something had to give.
Also, guys. Have you read my blog? I wrote multiple times this year about how I wanted to live somewhere warm, and have a creative career and I am literally getting both of them. I am excited, and I hope you’re excited for me too.
So that leads us to the question: what’s next for Amiekay’s Adventure?
The answer: it’s not over yet, baby! My new location will allow me to see amazing parts of Florida and the Caribbean I missed the last time around. I am still a traveler and explorer, it will just be in a different climate. And who knows where I will be in a few years? Maybe I’ll settle down and get a dog, or maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll be in Malaysia or Thailand in two years. Maybe I’ll visit Japan for the Olympics. Maybe I’ll move back to New Zealand. Maybe I will fall madly in love with someone and be able to share these adventures with someone else. Maybe I’ll write a television pilot with my friend in Chicago about being perpetually single. I have no idea, and that’s exciting. For the first time in a long time, the possibilities for my future seem both enchanting and endless.
My only personal worry about the move is whether or not I’ll be able to continue doing acting work on film sets. (Okay, I only got to do it twice this year.) But hey, I do know a good community theatre at least.
So, please, I beg of you, don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t think of me as a failure. I certainly don’t. I got to spend almost a year in New Zealand, and I also get my dream job in a place I love and have considered home since I started drawing palm trees on chalkboards in high school.
This sounds like a fantastic opportunity and a brilliant new start! It’s definitely okay to admit that moving back “home” is sometimes the right thing to do; and it sounds like you’re doing it for all the right reasons – you go girl!! Looking forward to seeing your new adventures in the US!
Thanks so much for the support! Yeah, it’s a little earlier than I was expecting to return but its definitely what’s best for me right now. Good to know there are others who see it that way as well. 🙂
Your comment in your blog that “for the first time…the possibilities for my future seem both enchanting and endless” is such a positive statement. Great News Amiekay! I don’t think “failure” belongs in your lexicon. You have succeeded in more ways than you imagine! Had you not, you would not be looking at those “endless and enchanting” possibilities. You’re building on success!
Thanks, Phil! I think you’re right, even if I am a bit sad that I won’t make it to Australia or Fiji for extended amounts of time before leaving this side of the world. (There’s so much to see!) Thanks, as always, for your support and wisdom. <3
You have to do whats best for you! Good luck in Florida!
Thanks so much. Yes, I do need to do what’s best for me. It’s just not always easy to follow your own star. 🙂
Take it as a learning experience. Just because you are going back home, it does not mean its a failure, in my opinion.
My husband and I started an adventure in living in the USA (Massachusetts), we are from Puerto Rico, and we always said that if we needed to go back home, that was always an option. So far, its been good for us to live in the USA for the past 7 years, but the door to go back home its still open.
Wishing you success on your new adventure home!
Thanks. I’m so glad you and your husband are enjoying your adventure in the states! Massachusetts is beautiful although it’s a bit cold for me. It may be hard for me to come back to New Zealand since my home is in the States, but I could always try if that’s where life leads me. If I need to come back, I fully expect that door to open for me. 🙂
I know that even if you didn’t make it to Australia or Fiji for extended amounts of time, but you’ll have it in the future, with your innate determination, you will surely get there. Anyway, just like a quote says, everything happens for a reason and you’ll figure it out once a great opportunity is knocking your door. Don’t be sad, you’ll have a better one.
Thanks for the support! Yes, I know I’ll be back in the future and I’m definitely excited about my new opportunity. 🙂
Aw, good for you! You need to do what is best for YOU, and if this is it, then no one else should question it. You’ll feel so much better when you reduce your debt, and yes – FL will be fab! I wish you the best with the transition. <3
Thanks so much! I love warm weather so I’m stoked to have that again. 🙂
Blessings to you on your new adventure in Florida. Florida is a very nice place if you love warm/hot weather. I’ve been there once with my family on vacations. Anyway going back home is okay it’s not a failure. It’s just another adventure. I woul love to visit New Zealand someday!
I love Florida, so I’m not too sad about it. Just wish I had gotten more travel in. Oh well, they’ll be time for that in the future. This new job is already awesome and I’m not even there yet. 🙂
That is amazing. How awesome for you. You got to live in NZ for a year and now you’re off on a new adventure. I don’t feel bad for you at all and I don’t think you’re a failure. You’re doing what’s right for you and that’s wicked. I wish you all the success in the future.
Thanks, girl! That’s how I feel too. I got to do the thing AND I get to go after a career that I’m sure I’ll love. It’s just weird because lots of people said to me “sorry it didn’t work out” and things like that.
I’m glad you are going to a better place for a better life.
People shouldn’t base their decisions or what they do in life on other peoiple’s opinions because those poeple have their lives to live and besides your destinies are different.
Thanks for sharing darling!
Thanks! And you are so right. As the quote on my calendar this month says “If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” -Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief <3
Hey I think that’s good ! I believe that no matter where life takes you, you always have new things to learn and share. The world is and will be a place of endless opportunities. One just need to keep an open mind.
Thanks. I think that’s good advice, myself. It’s weird how a lot of people want to tell me they’re sorry right now, and I have to be like.. “What? No.”
You live and you learn…. that’s what life is about! Welcome back and I look forward to reading about your transition.
Thanks so much! And yeah, that’s definitely what life is about. 🙂
Girl. Hold up. This is not a failure at all. You did it, you went out and you did something! How is getting a job you wanted failing? If anything it shows youre a trooper. I’m like you, I try to be financially responsible because I don’t want anything biting me in the ass when I am at my lowest point and drowning, ya know? I try to take care of my business.
It’s like when people say divorce is failure after a ten year marriage- it’s not. You had ten years together! It’s just not right like it used to be, things change, people change, financial obligations change. Never feel badly about that!
I support you!
Thanks so much for the support! And yeah, it’s definitely not failing in my book. I got the year abroad and a job I’ve actually wanted for a while. I get to go back and do something I love after taking a gap year at 31. I feel blessed.
Nothing bad in coming back, I know how you feel
Thanks
Not only I do not consider you a failure, yet I find you honest, raw and inspirational! You are down to earth and you should feel really proud of yourself! I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you! Have a great time in the States hun!
Aw, thanks! I appreciate that. I hope I am helping others make some tough decisions too. 🙂
Nothing wrong about moving back home. It’s smart for a lot of reasons such as financial and to be near friends and family again. I don’t judge that. Plus in Florida there’s so many things to do and you can still travel while living from home. I’m a student who lives at home while finishing college and I’ve traveled to 15 countries. Good post.
Thanks! And you are so right. I think a lot of people these days think the only way to travel is to do it constantly. While that is nice for some people it’s not for everyone. And yes! I LOVE Florida. So much today and so much sun.
Wow!! I loved this piece. I am a Canadian expat living in Guatemala and if I had to return to Canada for work, I would definitely not feel like a failure but my heart would break into a million pieces leaving this beautiful country I now call home. You are amazing and I wish you the absolute best of luck. Your new job sounds fantastic! You go girl!! xoxox
It is definitely hard to leave New Zealand because it’s so beautiful, but I love Florida too so it works out. It’s where my heart is. Thanks so much for the support! <3
Not many people know us better than we know ourselves. We know when we just need to go home.
You’re 100% right. Learning to listen to your own voice is a big part about becoming an adult I think!