I have officially been in New Zealand for 6 months. Its the potential halfway point: my visa expires after a year. I figured today was a good day to reflect on my experience, so far.
To start off, I have achieved a number of “bucket list” adventures: I scuba dived the Great Barrier Reef and saw Whitehaven Beach in the Whitsundays. And while neither of these is in New Zealand, I wouldn’t have made the trip if I wasn’t currently living here. Like all of my travels, these are sights 2 years ago I believed I would never see. But my, how much difference a year makes.
A rainbow spotted from Scorching Bay
This isn’t to say I don’t love anything about New Zealand. This country does nothing but surprise me with its beauty. The islands’ rolling green hills, and varied coastline often leaves me breathless. There’s a simpler way of life here; everything runs a bit slower than it does in the states and that means everyone seems a lot less stressed and hurried. This may be helped by the fact there are simply fewer people here; the entire county has just half the population of New York City, or it may be its politics: everyone here has access to healthcare, and that the government will help if something horrible were to happen. But honestly, horrible things don’t tend to happen that much here. I mean, this is a country where you can actually take a bottle of water through airport security (and on to the airplane,) and where halved-lemons washing on shore is front page news: it’s a safe place to be.
And while there are a lot of positives, those of you who know me personally, are aware that this experience has not been everything I’ve hoped on a lot of levels. It’s cold and gray here more often than it’s sunny. I miss both Florida and the stability of my old career a lot more than I ever anticipated. I’m extremely lonely from time to time and actually miss owning things. (Particularly my queen-sized bed.)
A glimpse of how empty the beaches at Castle Point can be, even on a sunny, beautiful day
But where there is the pain, there has been healing. I’m spending a lot of time alone, which means I am being forced to work out unresolved issues from my past, issues I didn’t know I still had. The hurt of failed relationships, of being abandoned by a group of people who I once considered family, of feeling unlovable and unworthy, that all has come up and come to roost in New Zealand. But because I am taking the time to recognize these wounds, I have been able to recognize and feel these previously ignored emotions and states of mind. Furthermore, I don’t have any distractions here and that means not only do I have to cope, and but I also have to let go. And doing this is helping me become a better version of myself, as well as help me figure out more specifically want I want from life both personally and professionally. Its nice to no longer be on “auto-pilot” and know I can actually decide what I want in life and go for it; I do not have to be a slave to the opportunities that present themselves to me. Instead, I can choose where I live and what I do and can create the future I want, preferably with palm trees.
Although Gisborne is known for being the first “major” city to see the sunrise across the international date line, its sunsets aren’t bad either
So what does this mean for the next 6 months? I don’t know. Last week I wouldn’t even imagine being here that whole time, but it’s becoming more of a possibility as summer starts to creep in. So, assuming I’m here for another six months, I hope to use that time to travel the country more. Some of the sites I want to see before I leave include Lake Taupo, the Tongariro Crossing, Milford Sound, Dunedin, Abel Tasman and Auckland. It would also be nice to see more of Australia if possible. (Specifically Uluru, Sydney, and Melbourne.) But mostly, what I want for the rest of this year is to be joyful. I want to really relax and begin enjoying this “working holiday” experience. As cheesy as it may sound, I want to leave New Zealand feeling like anything is possible. I want to learn to love myself and my life in beautiful ways I never imagined. It may not be the adventure I set out to have, but like Batman, it was the one I needed.
To to the next 6 months!
-Amiekay
Just a few days ago, swinging in a little park near Karaka Bay
